Fly Drop

A fly was 6 inches above a river.
A fish was watching the fly,
If the fly dropped 6 inches the fish would eat the fly.
A Bear was watching the same fly,
If the fly dropped 6 inches the fish would eat the fly and the
bear would eat the fish.
A hunter was watching the same fly,
If the fly dropped the fish would eat the fly, the bear would
eat the fish and the hunter would shoot the bear.
A mouse was watching the fly,
If the fly dropped the fish would eat the fly, the bear would
eat the fish, the hunter would shoot the bear, and the mouse
would steal the hunter’s cheese.
A cat was watching the fly,
If the fly dropped the fish would eat the fly, the bear would
eat the fish, the hunter would shoot the bear, the mouse would
steal the hunter’s cheese and the cat would eat the mouse.
The fly dropped 6 inches, the fish ate the fly, the bear ate the
fish, the hunter shot the bear, the mouse stole the cheese and
the cat ate the mouse and fell in the water.

Moral:Whenever a fly dropps 6 inches You’ll always find a Wet
Pussy!

Top’s down

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger.

They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn’t.

The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, “Hurry up! It’s starting to rain and the top is down.”

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman

On Marriage

Marriage

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?” The other replied, “Yes I am, I married the wrong man.”

Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he’s finished. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor’s degree and the woman gets her master’s.

A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” And the father replied, “I don’t know, son, I’m still paying.”

Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son.

Then there was a man who said, “I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late.”

Married life is frustrating. The first year of marriage, the man speaks And the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.” The husband replied, “Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice.”

It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends Up with the same boss.

A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Wife wanted”. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.

A woman was telling her friend , “It is I who made my husband a millionaire.” “And what was he before you married him.” Asked the friend. The woman replied, ” A billionaire”.

God says to Adam, “What would you like in a wife?” “Hmmm,” says Adam, “I’d like her to be the most beautiful creature in the world. I’d like her to do whatever I tell her to. I’d like he to work hard, be smart, enjoy being with me.” “Hmmmm”, God says, “I can do it, but it’ll cost you an arm and a leg.” “Oh,” says Adam, “Well what can I get for a rib?”

Jenna Bush Stopped

A cop pulls Jenna Bush over for speeding and he notices her eyes are red.
He says, “Gee, your eyes look red. Have you been drinking?”

Jenna replies, “No officer, but gee, your eyes look glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?

Anniversary News

The wealthy couple were celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary. Their three grown sons joined them for dinner. The old man was rather irritated when he discovered that none of the boys had bothered to bring a gift, and after the meal, he drew them aside. ‘You’re all grown men,’ he said, ‘and old enough to hear this. Your mother and I have never been legally married.’ ‘What?’ gasped one of the sons. ‘Do you mean to say we’re all bastards?’ ‘Yes,’ snapped the old man, closing the trap, ‘and cheap ones, too!’

Era un tipo que nunca

Era un tipo que nunca durante su ni�ez hab�a usado un calzoncillo porque su mam� no le compraba. As� que cuando ya creci� y cumpli� dieciocho a�os su mam� le compr� diez
metros de manta y le hizo un calzoncillo con un metro de esa manta.

El muchacho estaba tan contento, pues era la primer vez que iba a estrenar una prenda de esas. As� que decidi� ir a sorprender a su novia con el super regalo que le hab�an
dado, pero era tanta la emoci�n que ten�a que se le olvid� ponerse el canzoncillo antes de ponerse el pantal�n. Y as� con gran emoci�n se fu� donde la novia.

Llega a casa de la novia y cuando est�n en la sala le dice: “Mi amor, tengo una sorpresa que quiero ense�arte”.

Y r�pidamente se suelta el pantal�n, sin acordarse a�n que no ten�a el canzoncillo puesto. Y la hembra donde ve semejante barbaridad se qued� at�nita y dijo:

“Dios m�o, pero que es esa barbaridad”.

A lo que el tipo responde: “Y eso no es nada mi amor, en la casa quedaron nueve metros m�s.