Bank President’s Balls

An elderly woman walked into the main office of Chase Manhattan
Bank building, holding a large paper bag in her hand. She told
the young man at the teller’s window that she wished to deposit
the $3 million in the bag and open an account at the bank. She
said that first, though, she wished to meet the president of the
bank due to the amount of money involved. The teller thought
that to be a reasonable request, and, after opening the bag and
seeing bundles of $1000 bills, which amounted to approximately
$3,000,000, telephoned the bank president’s secretary for an
appointment for the lady.

The woman was escorted upstairs and ushered into the president’s
office. Introductions were made, and she stated that she liked
to get to know people she did business with on a more personal
basis. The president then asked her how she came into such a
large sum of cash. “Was it inherited?” he asked. “No,” she
replied. He was quiet for several seconds, trying to think of
where this elderly lady could possibly have come into $3 million.

“I bet,” she offered. “As in horses?”. “No,” she replied, “as in
people”. Seeing his confusion, she explained that she just bet
on different things with people. Suddenly, she said, “I’ll bet
you 25,000 that by 10 o’clock tomorrow morning your balls will
be square.”

The bank president figured she must be off her rocker and
decided to take her up on the bet. He didn’t know how he could
lose. For the rest of the day, he was extremely cautious–he
decided to stay home that evening and take no chances. $25,000
was at stake.

When he got up in the morning and took his shower, he checked to
make certain that everything was O.K. There was no change in his
scrotal appearance. He looked the same as always. He went to his
office and waited for the woman to come in at 10AM, humming as
he went. He knew this was his lucky day. How often did he get
handed $25,000 for doing nothing?

At 10 o’clock sharp, the woman was shown into his office. With
her was a man. When the bank president asked her what the other
man was with her for, she informed the president that he was her
lawyer and she always took him along when there was this much
money involved in her betting.

“Well,” she asked, “what about our bet?” “I don’t know how to
tell you this,” he said, “but I’m the same as I’ve always been,
only $25,000 richer.” The old lady asked him to drop his pants
so they could all see. The president complied. The old lady
peered closely at his balls and then asked if she could feel
them. “Well, okay,” said the president, “$25,000 is a lot of
money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure.” Just then, he
noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging his head against the
wall. The president asked the old lady, “What’s wrong with him?”
She replied, “Nothing, except that I bet him $100,000 that by
10am today I’d have the Chase Manhattan Bank’s president’s balls
in my hand.”

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