Doctor Speak

Well, the flu has finally struck me! I have avoided it for several years, but now I’m very sick! Before I start studying for my blood test tomorrow, I thought I’d pull out this list of medical terms. It really impresses those doctors when you know all the latest medical terminology!

Artery – The Study of paintings

Bacteria – Back door to the cafeteria

Barium – What you do when CPR fails

Benign – What you be after you be eight

Bowel – A letter like A, E, I, O, U, and sometimes Y

Caesarean Section – A neighborhood near Rome

Cat Scan – Searching for Kitty

Cauterize – Made eye contact with the nurse

Colic – A Sheep Dog

Coma – A punctuation mark

Congenital – Friendly

D&C – Where Washington is located

Dilate – To live long

Enema – Not a friend

GI Series – Baseball `etween teams of soldiers

Grippe – A Suitcase

Hangnail – A coat hook

Impotent – Distinguished, well known

Labor Pain – Getting hurt at work

Medical Staff – A Doctor’s cane

Morbid – A higher offer

Nitrate – Cheaper than the day rate

Node – Was aware of

Outpatient – A person who has fainted

Pelvis – Cousin to Elvis

Post-operative – A letter carrier

Protein – In favor of young people

Recovery Room – Where you have your upholstery done

Rectum – Darn near killed him

Rheumatic Fever – Amorouc feeling

Secretion – Hiding anything

Seizure – A Roman emperor

Tablet – A small table

Terminal Illness – Sick at the airport

Tibia – North African country

Tumor – An extra pair

Urine – Opposite of you’re out

Varicose Veins – Veins which are very close together

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