How to pack a Hippo

Packing HipposYou’ll need:1,000-gallon tank per hippo 1,000 gallons of water Crane 1-pound sedative Soothing hippo music 2 Aspirin (for you)How to pack:1. Fill your tank with 800 gallons of water. Start yesterday. Remember, a medium-sized hippo takes up at least 200 gallons. (Just out of curiosity, why do you have a hippo, anyway?)2. Apply sedative. Take two Aspirin.3. Hold it, hold it – put the hippo in the tank, first. Start with soothing hippo music, followed by a large winch and crane.4. Now go relax in a hot bath before the forklift arrives.WAIVER: We in no way advocate moving a hippo or any animal without the express advice and consent of your local vet or zoo keeper. If you’d like advice from a veterinarian on moving with pets click here.

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