My Dog Sex
Everybody who has a dog calls him “Spot”, or “Blackie”, or “Fido”.
I call mine Sexton. Over the years that got shortened to “Sex”. Now Sex
has been very embarassing to me. When I went to city hall to renew his
license, I told the clerk I wanted a license for Sex. He said he’d like one
too. Then I said this is for a dog, and he said he didn’t care what she
looked like. Then I said you don’t understand, I’ve had Sex since I was
nine years old. He said I must have been quite a kid. When I got married
and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me, and when I checked
into my hotel, I told the clerk I wanted a room for me and my wife and a
special room for Sex. He said every room was a special room for Sex.
I said you don’t understand, Sex keeps me awake at night, and he said
One day I entered a contest, but before the contest began the dog ran
away. Another contestant asked me why I was standing there looking
around, and I told him I was planning to have Sex in the contest. He
told me I should have sold tickets. I said you don’t undersand, I had
hopes of having Sex on TV. He called me a showoff.
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of
the dog, and I said your honor, I had Sex before I was married, and the
judge said me too. Then I told him after I got married Sex left me, and he
said me too. Last night Sex ran off again, and I spent hours looking for him.
A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at four o’clock
in the morning. I told him I was looking for Sex.
My case comes up next Friday.