Puns

good pun is its own reword. Energizer Bunny arrested – charged with battery. A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking. Is a pessimist’s blood type always b-negative? My friend really likes to make pottery, but to me it’s just kiln time. Dijon vu – the same mustard as before. Practice safe eating – always use condiments. I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother. Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death. I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded. I used to be a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the ax. I wanted to be a plumber, but it was just a pipe dream I used to be a meat cutter, but I backed in to the grinder and got a little behind in it. I was a shoe salesman, but I got the boot. Marriage is the mourning after the knot before. A hangover is the wrath of grapes. Corduroy pillows are making headlines. Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome? Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play. Banning the bra was a big flop. Sea captains don’t like crew cuts. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor. Without geometry, life is pointless. When you dream in color, it’s a pigment of your imagination. Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red. When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I. There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you. You seek problems because you need their gifts.

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