Relationship Tech Support

Dear Technical Support:

I’m currently running the latest version of GirlFriend and I’ve
been having some problems lately. I’ve been running the same
version of DrinkingBuddies 1.0 forever as my primary
application, and all the GirlFriend releases I’ve tried have
always conflicted with it. I hear that DrinkingBuddies won’t
crash if GirlFriend is run in background mode and the sound is
turned off. But I’m embarrassed to say I can’t find the switch
to turn the sound off. I just run them separately, and it works
okay.

Girlfriend also seems to have a problem co-existing with my Golf
program, often trying to abort Golf with some sort of timing
incompatibility.

I probably should have stayed with GirlFriend 1.0, but I thought
I might see better performance from GirlFriend 2.0. After months
of conflicts and other problems, I consulted a friend who has
had experience with GirlFriend 2.0. He said I probably didn’t
have enough cache to run GirlFriend 2.0, and eventually it would
require a Token Ring to run properly. He was right – as soon as
I purged my cache, it uninstalled itself.

Shortly after that, I installed GirlFriend 3.0 beta. All the
bugs were supposed to be gone, but the first time I used it, it
gave me a virus anyway. I had to clean out my whole system and
shut down for a while. I very cautiously upgraded to GirlFriend
4.0. This time I used a SCSI probe first and also installed a
virus protection program. It worked okay for a while until I
discovered that GirlFriend 1.0 was still in my system. I tried
running GirlFriend 1.0 again with GirlFriend 4.0 still
installed, but GirlFriend 4.0 has a feature I didn’t know about
that automatically senses the presence of any other version of
GirlFriend and communicates with it in some way, which results
in the immediate removal of both versions.

The version I have now works pretty well, but there are still
some problems. Like all versions of GirlFriend, it is written in
some obscure language I can’t understand, much less reprogram.
Frankly I think there is too much attention paid to the look and
feel rather than the desired functionality. Also, to get the
best connections with your hardware, you usually have to use
gold-plated contacts. And I’ve never liked how GirlFriend is
totally “object-oriented.” A year ago, a friend of mine upgraded
his version of GirlFriend to GirlFriendPlus 1.0, which is a
Terminate and Stay Resident version of GirlFriend. He discovered
that GirlFriendPlus 1.0 expires within a year if you don’t
upgrade to Fiancee 1.0. So he did, but soon after that, he had
to upgrade to Wife 1.0, which he describes as a huge resource
hog. It has taken up all his space, so he can’t load anything
else. One of the primary reasons he decided to go with Wife 1.0
was because it came bundled with FreeSexPlus. Well, it turns out
the resource allocation module of Wife 1.0 sometimes prohibits
access to FreeSexPlus, particularly the new Plug-Ins he wanted
to try. On top of that, Wife 1.0 must be running on a well
warmed-up system before he can do anything. Although he did not
ask for it, Wife 1.0 came with MotherInLaw which has an
automatic pop-up feature he can’t turn off.

I told him to try installing Mistress 1.0, but he said he heard
if you try to run it without first uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife
1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself.
Then Mistress 1.0 won’t install anyway because of insufficient
resources. Any Ideas???

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