A girl phoned me the other day and said …. Come on over, there’s nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home.
During sex my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
My father carries around the picture of the kid that came with his wallet.
I remember when I swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.
Once when I was lost I saw a policeman and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him, “do you think we’ll ever find them? He said, “I don’t know kid, there are so many places they can hide.