San Francisco Native

YOU KNOW YOU LIVE IN SAN FRANCISCO WHEN:Getting a really great parking spot can move you to tears.You know that anyone wearing shorts in June is just visiting from Ohio.A man walks on BART in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps. You don’t notice.You curse those damn tourists – but always stop to help a cute person who is holding a city map, looking puzzled.Each time you drive under an underpass, for one moment you think ‘earthquake.’Your co-worker tells you s/he has eight body piercings – none are visible.You take the bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.The guy who cuts your hair is straight, and your plumber is gay.The woman who delivers your mail is straight, and your Mary Kay Lady is gay.Old friends you haven’t talked to in years suddenly call. ‘Do you have a spare bedroom for a weekend?’You think anyone wearing a George Clooney haircut is visiting from the Midwest.You can’t remember… Is pot still illegal?You go to your office manager’s baby shower. The parents are named Judy and Becky.You have a very strong opinion where your coffee beans are grown, and are willing to fight about it.Your boss runs in ‘The Bay to Breakers’ … it’s the first time you have seen him/her nude.Your child’s 3rd grade teacher has a nose ring and is named ‘Breeze’.You haven’t been to Fisherman’s Wharf since the first month you moved to the Bay Area.You are thinking of taking an adult education class, but you can’t decide between a Yoga, Channeling, or Building Your Web Site class.You realize the only Republicans you know are your Aunt and Uncle in Georgia.

Leave a Reply