A fellow stops by his favorite bar one afternoon for a few drinks� after a couple of drinks he sees a pirate sitting at the other end of the bar, peg leg, patch over one eye, hook. He moves next to the pirate and asks, �Are you a real pirate�?
�Aye, that I am matey�, replies the pirate.
�How did you lose your leg�, the fellow asked. The pirate replied, �I was about to board a Man-O-War I was, when she fired a broadside and a cannon ball took me leg off it did�.
�Oh my, that�s horrible, how did you lose your hand�, said the fellow, looking at the hook replacing the right hand. The pirate held the hook up and said,�I was swinging over to a ship with me cutlass in me teeth, when a fellow cut off me hand with his sword, he did.
�Oh my�, said the fellow. �How did you lose your eye�, he asked. �I was ashore one day and as I looked up a seagull shit right in me eye, he did�, replied the pirate. �And that put your eye out�, asked the fellow�
�NO�, replied the pirate, �IT WAS THE FIRST DAY WITH ME NEW HOOK IT WAS�.