16. Tax code allows deduction for one hostage takeover/standoff per family, per year.
15. Every Thursday: 2-for-1 drinks at Hooters!
14. Nobuddy shuld be descrimnated aginst, less’n he’s from New York (or is otherwise Jewish or Muslim or somethin’), or is just kinda dark or differ’nt in some way.
13. Barbecued ribs are legal tender for all debts.
12. Congress shall make no law restricting the size of hats or belt buckles.
11. Citizens to receive one vote per gun owned.
10. Constitutional amendment requires 2/3 majority of both houses of legislature. Either that, or Tom Landry’s say-so.
9. The right to bare breasts, but only on cable, dammit — not in real life.
8. Vegetarians count as 3/5 of a person.
7. Freedom of religion: you can worship the Cowboys *or* Willie Nelson.
6. Civil disputes that cannot be resolved in court shall be settled by a chili cook-off.
5. Freedom of Delusion.
4. No citizen will be charged extra for gravy on French fries.
3. Cold beer cans can be used as “testicular temperature regulators” when operating a motor vehicle.
2. State bird: Raised middle finger.
1. You have the right to `e on the cover of Trailer Park Trash Magazine.