15. During lovemaking, remains levitated just above a perfectly made bed and insists you do likewise.
14. Not only cuts up your steak for you, but numbers it as well.
13. The blindfold. The cuffs. The way she makes you yell “Thank you, Ms. Reno! May I have another?”
12. After you reach over to unlock his car door, he makes you do it again the *right* way.
11. He accedes to a romantic horse and buggy ride through Central Park — *if* they let him drive.
10. Becomes furious if you have on your Tuesday socks at 11:30 pm Monday night.
9. He’s carrying a copy of “Men are From Mars, Women Should Just Do What I Say.”
8. “You idiot! That’s not how you send a submission to the Top 5 list! Here, give me that keyboard.”
7. If you use the wrong fork at dinner, she jabs the correct one into your neck.
6. When you threaten to leave her, she responds screaming, “And do what, Pretty Boy? Another AAMCO commercial?!?”
5. Swears she wouldn’t correct you about your breathing if you weren’t “doing it all wrong.”
4. She sits on the couch and heckles that sloppy Martha Stewart Show.
3. Refuses to let you call Mia on Mother’s Day.
2. His TV remote has a PIN number.
1. She keeps telling you that even though you’re just a humble boy from Arkansas now, if you stick with her, you’ll be President someday.