15. Out with the legal brief, in with the legal thong!
14. Leave the seat up for Justices O’Connor and Ginsberg.
13. Clarence sat through the entire morning session with an “Impeach Me” sign taped to the back of his robe.
12. Rehnquist always sneaking references to Baywatch into his dissenting opinions.
11. “Officially” changed national anthem to “Gangsta’s Paradise” and re-worded Pledge of Allegiance to say “One nation under Coolio.”
10. Solemnly telling death row inmates they’ve overturned their conviction and then yelling, “PSYCHE! Turn on the juice!”
9. Tell the guys at Court TV that the Supreme Court will rule on the existence or nonexistence of Santa Claus.
8. Load everybody into Souter’s Taurus and drive by Bork’s house blasting Aerosmith and honking the horn.
7. Secretly replacing the courtroom’s Secret Service guard with Rusty the Bailiff.
6. Calling up Dominoes and sending 55 pizzas to the White House when the President is hosting a State Dinner.
5. Replace U.S. law books with Singapore law books and watch the wackiness ensue.
4. Can of white paint over Justice Thomas’ chamber door just as funny now as it’s always been.
3. Spend a couple of days on your deathbed, just to get the President’s hopes up.
2. Announce the decision to hear the controversial case of Spy vs. Spy.
1. Radio-controlled “whack-a-mole” too much for any gavel-holding judge to resist.