This guy goes into a bar leading a half-sized alligator on a leash. The bartender yells at him, “You can’t bring that animal in here!”
The man says, “This isn’t just any old alligator, he knows tricks. I’ll show you.” He lets the alligator climb up on the bar, then says, “This alligator can hold his mouth open for any length of time you say, to the exact second. Name a time.”
So, the bartender says “47 seconds.” The man says, “OK, when I say go, start your watch. Go!” The alligator opens its mouth wide, while the bartender watches his mouth. The man says, “To prove how much confidence I have in my pet, I’m gonna lay my dick in his mouth. But, just for safety’s sake, start counting the seconds from 45 on.” The man does so, and when the bartender starts saying “45…46…47..,” right when he says 48 the man pulls back his dick and the alligator’s mouth snaps shut.
Everyone at the bar was very impressed with this stunt. The man says, “Thanks a lot! Now, would anyone else like to try?” And, of course, all the men just sort of mumble and turn back to their drinks. I mean, trust only goes so far.
One little guy at the end raises his hand rather timidly.
The man says, “You there!! You’re a real man! You’re brave enough to try this??!”
To which the other man says, “Yeth, but I don’t think I could keep my mouth open the whole 47 seconds.”