What to do if Jehova’s witnesses appear at your do

1. Actually invite them in, lead them to the kitchen and sit
them down in front of the fridge, saying, “why don’t you talk to
this, it will probably find you much more exciting than anyone
else will”.

2. Run about the house screaming “THE MESSIAH! THE MESSIAH HAS
RETURNED!”. After about five minutes of this, calmly walk to the
door and throw yourself prostrated to the ground until they
leave, terrified.

3. Hand them a case saying GOD’S REFERALS on it, muttering under
your breath “nice disguise, but lose the anorak” in your best
James Bond accent.

4. Exclaim in your best Italian Mafia voice “Jehova? but I was
cleared of that case three years ago!”.

5. Open the door in a hurry, run out of the house brushing past
them and pelt it down the road. Get your wife or husband or
anyone of the opposite sex to then lean out of the door shaking
their fist and shouting “And good riddance to y’all!”.

6. Put on a fake white beard and a nightie with “JESUS” written
on it and complain about how they are acting or how they are
dressed in as many ways as possible.

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